BMW K1300S

BMW’s latest K-spec über-four delivers everything you’d expect from the architects of modern mach schnell touring. It’s stinky fast, mildly quirky, dizzyingly complicated, more stable than the German banking system ... and pricey enough to empty the average American savings account. And 15 minutes south of Big Sur on California’s fabled Highway 1, you’ll cough up whatever they’re asking with a smile.

Despite the sportiest silhouette of the bunch, the big K is all BMW, as in one unrepentant 147-horse sporty tourer aimed directly at open-class Japanese hypersports that don’t offer optional saddlebags. Throw a leg over and you’re sitting in the S more than on it. Legroom is something less than first-class, but taller types will still be happier here than shorter ones, who’ll find the bars a long way off. Vibration is minimal in sixth gear within 15 mph of any posted freeway limit. Scrolling through the trip computer to keep tabs on tire pressure, average mpg, projected fuel range, ambient air temperature and such is amusing, but the optimistic data provides only a vague idea of what’s actually going on. Held to an unwavering 70 mph, the S is capable of putting 200 miles between fill-ups if you don’t mind the stress of rolling into a gas station on fumes. For the most part, it makes an eminently civilized traveling companion whether you’re on the road for three hours or three days. BMW’s second-generation electronically adjustable suspension goes from plush to firm to genuinely taut on the fly with a touch of the button on the left bar. Another on the right toggles the two-position heated hand grips. Wind protection is luxurious by supersport standards, but noticeably skimpy compared to the Kawasaki Concours 14’s adjustable screen.

Cue up 20 miles of smooth, flowing coastal corners and the K1300S arcs through one 70-mph apex after another like a terrain-following missile. Contrary to sporting folklore, the Duolever front end does tell you what’s going on at the front contact patch once you learn to stop worrying and trust it. Ease into the throttle below 4000 rpm and the 1300 reels in the next straight with a steady stream of reassuringly linear thrust. Loaf along in second or third if you like, secure in the knowledge that nearly 70 percent of the engine’s peak torque is available at just 3000 rpm. It doesn’t gain revs as enthusiastically as the Honda’s V4. Full afterburner mode kicks in just beyond 6000 rpm, and by 8000 it’s pulling hard. Enough to provoke involuntary contractions in that ring of smooth muscle tissue you’re sitting on, reel off mid-10-second quarter-miles at 130-plus mph and reel in that next apex quicker than you can say Semi-Integral ABS II. That eyeball-flattening immediacy makes it feel like the quickest of the bunch, even though it isn’t ... quite.Meanwhile, a firm squeeze on the lever cues all three discs, hauling things down immediately with more power than feel, but no drama. The foot pedal controls only the rear brake, taking the pucker out of occasional decreasing-radius moments more readily than systems that insist on factoring in some degree of front brake as well. Still, the Duolever/Paralever combination maintains equilibrium between front and rear. Cornering clearance abounds, as does the reassuringly tenacious grip from those Metzeler radials. Not much to complain about. Not yet anyway...When the corners come closer together and the pavement starts to unravel, so does most of the big K-bike’s otherwise unflappable Germanic composure. Automatic Stability Control (read: traction control) keeps you from writing a check with the throttle that the 180/55-17 rear tire can’t cash. Even so, once you’ve arrived in the land of blind rises and lumpy 15-mph corners, pulling the trigger near 9000 rpm feels like hunting ground squirrels with that terrain-following missile. Despite the diligent efforts of two balance shafts, it’s buzzy up there as well. Gear shifts are clunky, too. We didn’t recall that being an issue until we remembered that the last K1300S we tested had the optional electronic quick-shifter ($450).